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Today I cried my heart out, and I didn't bother trying to hide the tears. Body just shook and shook. Once again, we were robbed. Perhaps, by ourselves(me!) Won the first set, and I was so certain that we were finally going to make it! And somehow, we lost the 2nd set by a very narrow margin. But that's okay, our fighting spirit was still going strong. I screamed like mad and I wanted soo soo badly to just win for once. I was focused on nothing else, but to win. I believed in myself, in our team. Believed that we'd make a remarkable comeback, once again. But some monster at the back of my head just refused to let me triumph over the odds. I was in the worst form ever, esp in the 3rd set. Did stuff that I don't usually do, like hitting the ball wayyy out to the left. It was really painful to play but I refused to give up. Came to one point when it was pure desperation. So we lost, by a shit close margin again. If whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, than we should be the strongest people alive. I'm still grasping on to the final thread of hope that we will overcome all the odds that are piled against us and emerge triumphant. I will find myself. This is to the teachers. I just realised how amazing it is that all the other teams have their coaches screaming instructions at them whilst we are mostly on our own. The teachers merely provide a HUGE sense of security by their presence alone. I feel extremely sorry for disappointing them time and time again. (Kind of hoping they'll somehow see this. ) After the match, I think they were probably sadder than us. And they still had to comfort us despite their own feelings. They were slumped on the floor after that drinking (H20) away, kind of like drunkards. This is an extremely narcissistic post. But I must tell myself that even if the whole world is against me, all that matters is that I must believe in myself. The rest have managed to build up this self-confidence but I haven't yet. Go team! We will rise to the challenge and homg this time it's true. THE FINAL FIGHT WE WILL WIN. I will go on until the end :'( melissa at 7:34 PM |
